Bree
received Alex’s text message at the park. She didn’t know whether to
take it seriously or whether this was one of Alex’s depressed texts Bree
received often. She decided that the text sounded serious and she
immediately left the gathering, heading towards Alex’s apartment.
***
Bree walked into Alex’s kitchen just in time to see Alex pouring out some pills into the palm of her hand.
“What are you doing?” Bree asked.
Alex couldn’t speak. The tears continuously ran down her cheeks as she
continued pouring out the desired amount of pills, preparing to put
them in her mouth and swallow them.
Bree walked over to Alex and took the bottle of pills from Alex’s hand.
“Alex, put the pills back in the bottle and come with me,” she said gently.
“No! Just leave me alone. I just want to die,” Alex said, in between sobs.
Bree forced the pills out of Alex’s hand, put them back into the
bottle, and put the bottle back in the cabinet. She calmly took the
knife and put it back in its place and did the same with the bottle of
wine. Bree sat down in a chair next to Alex, hugged her tightly, and
waited until she stopped crying.
***
Bree opened the door to her apartment and went to her room, Alex following her.
“You can sleep on my bed tonight,” Bree said. “You don’t have school or work tomorrow right?”
“No, I don’t. Thanks a lot, I really appreciate what you’re doing for me,” Alex replied.
“No problem. You’re my best friend and I care about you a lot. Don’t worry about it,” Bree said.
When they had both changed into their pajamas, Alex got into the bed
and Bree settled herself on the small couch in the room. They both
quickly fell asleep, Alex thinking about the day’s events and Bree
thinking about the plans she had made for the next day.
***
The next morning, Bree and Alex woke up to bright sunshine and a warm day.
“Get dressed. I want to take you somewhere,” Bree said cheerfully.
“I don’t really feel like going anywhere. Can’t we just stay in bed
and sleep?” Alex said, the events of last night sinking in once more.
“Come on! It’s nice outside! Get dressed,” Bree insisted.
“Fine,” Alex reluctantly agreed.
Alex got up, washed her face, and got dressed while Bree waited for her in the car.
“Where are we going?” Alex asked when she got into Bree’s car.
“You’ll see,” Bree replied.
“Ok. Fine,” Alex sighed.
As they drove, Bree talked to Alex about the events that had led Alex
to think of suicide. Alex felt good letting out her emotions. She
trusted Bree and she knew that she cared about her.
***
Alex
felt the soft sand beneath her feet. She closed her eyes, enjoying the
cool breeze blowing her hair back away from her face. She took a deep
breath and smelled the salty spray of the ocean, listening to the ebb
and flow of the waves on the seashore.
“Enjoying yourself?” Bree asked.
“Very much. Thanks. I needed this,” Alex replied, smiling.
“Look out on the ocean. What do you see?” Bree asked once more.
Alex opened her eyes and looked out.
“Water. There’s water as far as my eyes can see. It seems like there’s no end to it,” Alex replied.
“Who do you suppose contains the sea?” Bree asked.
“God, of course,” Alex said.
“How about the botanical gardens we went to today…what did you see there?” Bree asked once more.
“A diversity of plants and animals…it was hard to believe that there’s so much diversity in the world!” Alex exclaimed.
“Why is that? Who do you suppose created them and maintains them on a daily basis?” Bree asked.
“God, no doubt,” Alex said.
“What
do you think of the passage in the Gospel according to St. Matthew in
which Christ tells His disciples not to worry…the one where he tells
them that if God cares for the birds of the air and the lilies of the
field, how will He not care for His children?” Bree asked.
“What are you trying to get at Bree?” Alex asked.
“I’m
trying to show you that first of all, there are many little things in
life that you are missing out on. Simply going out and experiencing
nature…it’s amazing, right? You look at the trees and how they
function, how they give us the air we breathe, you look underneath a
microscope at seemingly normal water and see it teeming with life, you
look at the sun and the solar system and how it’s so much bigger than we
are, yet God maintains it all, if you look around you closely, you see
an intricate system that has been set in place and is maintained daily
by God. Secondly, if God created all this and created you, do you not
believe in the passage I just mentioned? Do you not believe that if God
maintains this whole world and takes care of everything, that He won’t
take care of you? Do you not know that He loves you?” Bree asked.
“I do believe all of that,” Alex replied.
“Then why did you try to kill yourself?” Bree asked.
“I guess I lost sight of what’s important,” Alex sighed.
“We
all do at some point in our life. But you must remember one thing
always: God loves you very much and He wants you to be close to Him and
end up with Him in Paradise. If you commit suicide, you will not have a
chance at that,” Bree said. “Alex, suicide is not the answer. No
matter how tough life gets, it will always get better. You just need to
have faith and hope in God.”
Bree gave Alex a comforting hug and they both watched the beautiful red sunset, both of them thinking of Psalm 19:
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech,
Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
Its rising is from one end of heaven,
Its rising is from one end of heaven,
And its circuit to the other end;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat. (1-6)
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